There is a lot to be learned from dogs.  If we all lived our life by the same philosophy that dogs do, we would all be much better off in life and as a society.

In the wild animals fight only for two things:

1.  Food

2.  A Mate

Everything else is just pure joy and happiness.

Live by these dog rules and you will be a happier, healthier person!

Dog Philosophy:

1.   Never pass up the opportunity to go for a joy ride.
2.   Allow the experience of fresh air and the wind in your face to be pure ecstasy.
3.   When loved ones come home, always run and greet them.
4.   When it’s in your best interest, always practice obedience.
5.   Let others know when they’ve invaded your territory.
6.   Take naps and always stretch before rising.
7.   Run, romp and play daily.
8.   Eat with gusto and enthusiasm.
9.    Be loyal.
10. Never pretend to be something you’re not.
11. If what you want lies buried, dig until you find it.
12. When someone is having a bad day, be silent, sit close by and nuzzle them gently.
13. Delight in the simple joys of a long walk.
14. Thrive on attention and let people touch you.
15. Avoid biting when a simple growl will do.
16. On hot days, drink lots of water and lie under a shady tree.
17. When you’re happy, dance around and wag your entire body.
18. No matter how often you are criticized, don’t buy into the guilt thing and pout.  Run right back and make friends.

1. My life is likely to last 10 to 15 years.  Any separation from you will be painful.
2. Give me time to understand what you want of me.
3. Place your trust in me – it is crucial for my well-being.
4. Do not be angry with me for long, and do not lock me up as punishment.  You have your work, your friends, and your entertainment.  I HAVE ONLY YOU!
5. Talk to me.  Even if I do not understand your words, I understand your voice when it is speaking to me.
6. Be aware that however you treat me, I’ll NEVER forget it.
7. Before you hit me, remember that I have teeth that could easily crush the bones in your hand, but I choose not to bite you.
8. Before you scold me for being lazy or uncooperative, ask yourself if something might be bothering me.  Perhaps I am not getting the right food, I have been out in the heat or sun too long, or my heart may be getting old and weak.
9. Take care of me when I get old.  You too, will grow old.
10. Go with me on difficult journeys.  Never say, “I cannot bear to watch it” or “Let it happen in my absence.”  Everything is easier for ME if you are there.  Remember that I love you unconditionally.

Is your dog a natural genius when it comes to intelligence?  Or does it seem that you have a slow learner on your hands?

According to Stanley Coren, the author of “The Intelligence of Dogs”, there are three types of dog intelligence:

 

• Adaptive Intelligence (learning and problem-solving ability).  This is specific to the individual animal and is measured by canine IQ tests.
• Instinctive Intelligence.  This is specific to the individual animal and is measured by canine IQ tests.
• Working/Obedience Intelligence.  This is breed dependent.

Psychologist Stanley Coren, ranks breeds in “Working Intelligence,” by their ability to understand and follow your commands.  Coren believes that while all breeds have merit, all breeds were NOT created equal in terms of their cleverness and mental skills.

He surveyed over 200 AKC Obedience judges, 60 veterinarians, and countless obedience trainers. Their responses form the basis for this unique list.

Coren is quick to point out that there is great individual variation among dogs. Even in the brightest breeds, certain individuals simply show no capacity to learn or respond, while in the dullest breeds, some dogs work extremely well.

A lot has to do with the person training the dog. Good trainers can do a lot with any breed. They just find the job much easier if they start with one that has high working and obedience intelligence!

So find out where your favorite breed ranks on the list…

Ranks 1 to 10 - Brightest Dogs

Understanding of New Commands: Less than 5 repetitions.

Obey First Command: 95% of the time or better.

Rank     Breed

1.      Border Collie

2.      Poodle

3.      German Shepherd

4.      Golden Retriever

5.      Doberman Pinscher

6.      Shetland Sheepdog

7.      Labrador Retriever

8.      Papillon

9.      Rottweiler

10.  Australian Cattle Dog

Ranks 11 to 26 – Excellent Working Dogs

Understanding of New Commands: 5 to 15 repetitions.

Rank     Breed

11.  Pembroke Welsh Corgi

12.  Miniature Schnauzer

13.  English Springer Spaniel

14.  Belgian Tervuren

15.  Schipperke

• Belgian Sheepdog

16.  Collie

• Keeshond

17.  German Shorthair Pointer

18.  Flat-Coated Retriever

• English Cocker Spaniel
• Standard Schnauzer

19.  Brittany

20.  Cocker Spaniel

21.  Weimaraner

22.  Belgian Malinois

• Bernese Mountain Dog

23.  Pomeranian

24.  Irish Water Spaniel

25.  Vizsla

26.  Cardigan Welsh Corgi

Ranks 27 to 39 – Above Average Working Dogs

Understanding of New Commands: 15 to 25 repetitions.

Obey First Command: 70% of the time or better

Rank     Breed

27.  Chesapeake Bay Retriever

• Puli
• Yorkshire Terrier

28.  Giant Schnauzer

29.  Airedale Terrier

• Bouvier Des Flandres

30.  Border Terrier

• Briard

31.  Welsh Springer Spaniel

32.  Manchester Terrier

33.  Samoyed

34.  Field Spaniel

• Newfoundland
• Australian Terrior
• American Staffordshire Terrier
• Gordon Setter
• Bearded Collie

35.  Cairn Terrier

• Kerry Blue Terrier
• Irish Setter

36.  Norwegian Elkhound

37.  Affenpincher

• Silky Terrier
• Miniature Pinscher
• English Setter
• Pharaoh Hound
• Clumber Spaniel

38.  Norwich Terrier

39.  Dalmatian

Ranks 40 to 54 – Average Working/Obedience Intelligence

Understanding of New Commands: 25 to 40 repetitions.

Obey First Command: 50% of the time or better.

Rank     Breed

40.  Soft-Coated Wheaten Terrier

• Bedlington Terrier
• Smooth Fox Terrier

41.  Curly-Coated Retriever

• Irish Wolfhound

42.  Kuvasz

• Australian Shepherd

43.  Saluki

• Finnish Spitz
• Pointer

44.  Cavalier King Charles Spaniel

• German Wirehaired Pointer
• Black & Tan Coonhound
• American Water Spaniel

45.  Siberian Husky

• Bichon Frise
• English Toy Spaniel

46.  Tibetan Spaniel

• English Foxhound
• Otterhound
• American Foxhound
• Greyhound
• Wirehaired Pointing Griffon

47.  West Highland White Terrier

• Scottish Deerhound

48.  Boxer

• Great Dane

49.  Dachshund

• Stafforshire Bull Terrier

50.  Alaskan Malamute

51.  Whippet

• Chinese Shar-pei
• Wire Fox Terrier

52.  Rohdesian Ridgeback

53.  Ibizan Hound

• Welsh Terrier
• Irish Terrier

54.  Boston Terrier

• Akita

Ranks 55 to 69 – Fair Working/Obedience Intelligence

Understanding of New Commands: 40 to 80 repetitions.

Obey First Command: 30% of the time or better

Rank     Breed

55.  Skye Terrier

56.  Norfolk Terrier

• Sealyham Terrier

57.  Pug

58.  French Bulldog

59.  Brussels Griffon

60.  Italian Greyhound

61.  Chinese Crested

62.  Dandie Dinmont Terrier

• Petit Basset Griffon Vendeen
• Tibetan Terrier
• Japanese Chin
• Lakeland Terrier

63.  Old English Sheepdog

64.  Great Pyrenees

65.  Scottish Terrier

• Saint Bernard

66.  Bull Terrier

67.  Chihuahua

68.  Lhasa Apso

69.  Bullmastiff

Ranks 70 to 79 – Lowest Degree of Working/Obedience Intelligence

Understanding of New Commands: 80 to 100 repetitions or more.

Obey First Command: 25% of the time or worse.

Rank     Breed

70.  Shih Tzu

71.  Basset Hound

72.  Mastiff

• Beagle

73.  Pekingese

74.  Bloodhound

75.  Borzoi

76.  Chow Chow

77.  Bulldog

78.  Basenji

79.  Afghan Hound

Enjoy…

The Dog’s Diary

8:00 am – Dog food!  My favorite thing!
9:00 am – A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am – A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am – Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm – Milk Bones! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm – Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm – Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm – Dinner! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm – Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm – Wow! Watched TV with the my humans! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm – Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

The Cat’s Diary

Day 983 of My Captivity

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.

The only thing that keeps my going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet. Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates my capabilities. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a “good little hunter” I am. Bastards!

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of “allergies.” I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow, but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released, and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded. The bird must be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now….

Most dogs shed.  Some dogs shed more than others depending on the breed and your grooming routines.  Dog hair in the house is a small trade off for the loyal love and companionship a dog brings to your life.  Sometimes though, no amount of cleanup seems to remove dog hair.

So what do you do if you routinely brush your dog, vacuum and/or sweep your floors regularly and still see dog hair on your floors, carpet and furniture?  You need to think about a different approach.  The new approach is the color schemes in your house.

The short term approach is dog beds and throw rugs for the floors, and blankets for the furniture.  The long term approach involves redecorating which is not always affordable or practical.  Either way you need to look for colors and textures that will help to camouflage your dog’s hair.

To find the best camouflage matches take home carpet or fabric samples, if possible, and hold them up to your dog’s coat.  Dog beds, rugs and blankets can be returned so save those receipts just in case your eye is off.

Certain colors will blend better than others.  Neutral colors work well with most dog hair and are easy to decorate around.  Carpets and fabric with textures, patterns or color variation are the most effective in hiding dog hair and stains.

On a cold winter night there is nothing better than being under the covers with our pack members.  In the middle of the afternoon there is nothing worse than being tired at work knowing our canine friends are still on the bed napping even though they are the only ones who got a good night’s sleep.

If you are not ready for Fido’s manipulative sheet stealing tactics you could find yourself clinging to a few centimeters of the bed and holding on to the covers for dear life. 

Below are the top 10 methods dogs use to dominate the bed. 

 See how many you are battling!

 1.  The Stretch – This skill is most commonly used by medium to large size breeds that double their body length by stretching out comfortably.  Original size is not returned to until morning hours.

2.  The Push – Never allow your four legged friend to sleep anywhere near something they can push against.  Four paws planted against a wall will give the tiniest dog enough leverage to push any size adult human onto the floor.

3.  The Squirm – Random wiggling may appear innocent but it is a canine’s weapon to gather the blankets around them.  You may be tempted to interact with Fido but your best defense is to ignore him.

4.  The Fake Out – A restless dog at the door does not always mean nature is calling your dog’s name.  This sneaky tactic is used to remove your sleepy body mass from the warm comfortable bed and allows your dog to quickly bolt into the space you vacated.  They will then peer innocently at you while looking vulnerable.  This tactic is a good one because try calling their bluff and you may risk a soiled floor.

5.  The Shuffle – Fido appears to be sleeping comfortably while respecting your space.  This is exactly what he wants you to think.  Move an inch and Fido will quickly shuffle body parts to occupy that now unclaimed territory.

6.  The Dream – Yelps, squeaks, and twitching paws are precursors to a running dream.  A seeming innocent tactic to steal bed covers.  Stretching and running motions gather blankets into a warm pile that cover your dog and leaves you out in the cold.  If running paws or whimpering noises do not wake you, hypothermia will.

7.  Shock Tactics – A cold wet nose on exposed body parts will awaken the soundest of sleepers with a jolt and racing heart.  Your only defense against this tactic is pajamas.

8.  Stink Bomb Tactics – A soft sighing sound that engulfs you in an eye watering stench that could strip the varnish off your bedroom furniture.  As you move to open a door, open a window, or locate an oxygen mask, the bed space you fought for is now gone forever.

9.  The Immovable Object – When you’re furry friend beats you to the bed and plants themselves diagonally in the middle of it.  They then do their best impersonation of a “breathing rug with a tail” and somehow seem to instantly double in weight.  If you want to move them just be aware that YOU will be doing all of the work and they will lay helpless as if suddenly paralyzed from the neck down.

10.  The Cook Out – Your dog may cozy up next to you giving you the sweet impression that they want to snuggle with you.  The additional body heat may initially be warming but eventually you may be tempted to create some space between you and you’re furry friend.  As you move over, so do they.  Personal space is never achieved and you will soon find yourself on the edge of your queen size bed with just a corner of the sheet.  To beat your pooch at this tactic you must be willing to sweat it out.  Do not give an inch and victory will prevail by eventually overheating and cooking out man’s best friend.

Dogs of all sizes, ages, and breeds will deploy the above tactics for bed space.  If you have not established “ground rules” when it comes to the bed, it is up to you to be aware of these sneaky methods and be ready to play offense instead of defense.  When it comes to a comfortable, restful night in bed – it’s you or the dog!

Smart phones are here to stay and they are getting better with each new version released.  I happen to be an iPhone owner and I love, love, love it!  The smart phone is not only a phone, but a camera, video device, day planner, plays music, has email, internet, books, games, a flashlight, and so much more all in one small portable device that fits in your pocket.  If you want to make life a little easier or a little more fun, there is an app for it.

With more than 150,000 apps available for the iPhone alone, and new ones being added daily, it can be overwhelming to keep up on what is new, hot and actually useful.  There are a number of apps geared towards our pets and the lifestyles of pet owners.  Whether you need to track your dog’s vet appointments, organize their medical information, find the nearest pet store, or locate a dog park in an unfamiliar city, there is an app out there.

Below are four pet apps available for the iPhone.  They are reasonably priced, convenient, and may be useful for some of you diehard iPhone/pet owners.

MiPets $1.99:   Keeping a binder of your pet’s health is important but it is not practical to carry with you at all times.  MiPets app solves this dilemma by tracking vet appointments, microchip numbers, medications, food/diet information, etc.  The number of pets you can track is unlimited and files can be e-mailed which is handy if you are changing vets or boarding your pet.

Pet Safe $2.99:  Do you know what plants are toxic to animals?  The Pet Safe app does.  It contains a searchable database of plants harmful to dogs, cats and horses.  The Pet Safe app is compiled by an expert toxicologist from the American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals.  The app has toxicity symptoms for each plant and a direct link to the Animal Poison Control Center hotline.  A portion of the proceeds go to the ASPCA.

PetSnap $1.99:  We all love pictures of our dogs.  Getting your furry friend to look at the camera can be challenging.  The PetSnap app has 32 different sounds to catch your dog’s attention.  Crank up the volume on your phone and start snapping away.  Once you have taken the perfect shot, frame it and send it to friends and family.

PawTrotter $2.99:  Need to find a dog friendly business?  This can be a challenge especially when you are traveling and unfamiliar with the area.  The PawTrotter app has more than 130,000 pet stores, dog friendly hotels, veterinarians, and dog parks.  You do not even need to enter an address, the app uses the iPhone’s GPS to pin point your location and find businesses near you.

Good evening.  My name is ____________ and I AM a dogaholic.

I would like to welcome all of you to this month’s meeting of Dogaholics Anonymous.  Some of you are here tonight because a friend or relative brought you here.  You may be sitting here thinking that you are OK and that you really don’t need any help.  It is not easy to admit that you are a dogaholic and it is even harder to bring yourself to a DAA meeting for help.  DAA is here to assist you.

I have questions to ask.  If you can answer YES to more then three of the following, you have come to the right place. 

1. Can you say “Bitch” in public without blushing?
2. Do you drive a station wagon, van or 4×4?
3. Do you have more than one car…one for you and one for the dogs?
4. Do you plan your vacations and holidays around your dogs?
5. If you do go overseas, is it to London in March to attend Crufts?
6. Do you discuss things at the dinner table that would make most doctors leave in disgust?
7. Do you consider formal wear to be clean jeans and freshly washed tennis shoes?
8. Is your interior decorator R.C. Steele?
9. Was your furniture and carpeting chosen to match your dogs?
10. Are your end tables really dog crates with tablecloths and dog magazines?
11. Is your mail made up primarily of dog catalogs and dog magazines?
12. Do you get up before dawn to go to Training Classes?  Dog Shows?  Seminars?
13. If you wear dresses, do they all have pockets?
14. Do those pockets often contain freeze dried liver, Rollover or squeaky toys?
15. When you meet a new person do you always ask them what kind of dog they have…and pity them if they don’t have one?
16. Do you remember the name of their dog sooner than you remember the person’s name?
17. Do you find non-dog people boring?
18. Do you subscribe to an internet dog mailing list??? 

If you answered YES to one of the above, there is still hope.   

If you answered YES to two, you are in serious trouble.           

If you answered YES to three or more, you have come to the right place.

My advice to all of you with three or more YES’s is to sit back and smile, turn to the smiling person next to you and know that your life will always be filled with good friends and good dogs and it will never be boring.